I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
