I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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