Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
