Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
