i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I am one with the molecules
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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