I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
