I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Someone stole a lamp last night.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
