i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
You were trust falling into bushes
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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