She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
