On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
