I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
What drink are we having for lunch?
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Randomize
