those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
