idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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