There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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