I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
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