Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
pop tarts are not kleenex
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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