He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
