I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
