Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
