saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize
