Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
