its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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