Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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