Dude my mom stole all your condoms
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
