I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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