i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Drake has all the answers
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Randomize
