She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
