Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
