all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
How's work?
Spinning.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
