I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
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