Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
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