I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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