Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
