You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
