Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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