I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Randomize
