it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
