She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
