I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
