i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
i've created a new STD.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
FUCK WHALES
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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