somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
That's when you crack a 10am beer
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
These tits shall not be calmed
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
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