Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
