I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
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