OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
In America we eat man semen.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
