So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
