Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Randomize