Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
this boner is exhausting
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Randomize
