I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
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