love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
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