i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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