If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
