i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
