It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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