Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
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