and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
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