but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
