i just wanna soil my oats bro
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
