i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Randomize