Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Randomize
