all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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