Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Randomize
