And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
