I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
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