i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
