i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Randomize
