I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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