So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Randomize
