That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
