you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
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