I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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