girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Randomize
