Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I have already put on my inside pants.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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