I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
