They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
