Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
